BA54 JNB-LHR

March 13, 2019

In-transit:

I arrived at O.R. Tambo International Airport from São Paulo shortly before noon. The British Airways Lounge opened daily from 4pm to 10pm, which was mainly for its two daily departures to Heathrow. However, it seemed like this lounge was closed for renovation as of the date of this post and no re-opening date was given on oneworld alliance website.

That wasn’t a big deal since there was a Protea by Marriott Hotel in the transit area. The transit experience was a breeze, and I was through transit immigration in less than 10 minutes. The signage for the transit hotel was easy to find, and the elevator for the hotel reception emerged immediately past the transfer counters.

I went in with no reservation but was able to secure a room for three hours with no problem, at a cost of ~$60 including taxes and fees. The hotel itself was standard - the room was a little dated but clean, while the front desk was friendly and helpful. At around 3pm, I checked out of the hotel and walked around the international departure area, which still had Chinese New Year decorations everywhere in mid-March. O.R. Tambo Airport had some unique plane spotting opportunities.

I walked to the lounge after roaming around the terminal and joined 5 other customers who already lined up for the lounge to open. Gotta love the queueing Brits!

Lounge:

Since the lounge is being updated at the moment, I’ll keep the lounge portion of this review short. The receptionists were friendly and directed me to the left side of the lounge, which was the dedicated first class section, along with oneworld emerald members. This first class section was essentially a narrow rectangular room, facing the lower level departure area. I would estimate that the lounge held around 30 to 45 seats, and it really filled up closer to the two departure times.

The lounge itself was standard British Airways, which is to say that it was rather underwhelming, and I wouldn’t go out of my way for a visit. There were several hot options and a decent selection of libations, although I didn’t notice any focus on South African wines. The British Airways signature Gold Bar was featured in this lounge. Though it wasn’t a manned bar, nor was there any bubbles…

Out of the four hot options, I tried the mixed veggies, chicken curry and steamed white rice. The food, like everything else about British Airways First Class, did not scream first class.

As the lounge became more crowded, I decided to check out the shower suites, which were shared with the business class lounge. The JNB lounge showers resembled the ones at Heathrow, which most people referred to as hospital showers. The shower I was assigned to was bright and clean, with robust water pressure. Per usual, toiletries were provided by Elemis Spa, which I always enjoyed. I would think that most passengers probably originate from Johannesburg, so it was very much appreciated that they provided shower facilities at all.

Boarding:

The refreshing shower made me miss the priority boarding, as I was the last first class passenger to board. The gay CSD (Cabin Service Director, or, if you ask Pam Ann, C**t Standing at the Door) and the other gay (shocking) first class flight attendant Michael, were ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS (no reference intended). I received a warm welcome from both of them and was escorted to my seat by Michael.

British Airways had such a sleek cabin interior in its first class - the neutral color scheme made the cabin elegant, while the small touches such as the shimmering lamp in the corner and the cotton-blended fabric for seat cushions added a layer of coziness. The seats themselves were essentially reverse herringbone seats, which mostly dominate in other airlines’ business class. I found the seat to be wider on the A380, and storage was plentiful. Each seat also featured a personal closet, which was actually large enough for a Rimowa Cabin and a mid-length trench coat.

Upon settling in, Michael introduced himself and familiarized me with the seat functions. He also asked me what brought me to London and offered me pre-departure champagne. He said he could tell I was used to being offered drinks🤷‍♂️. He then went to the galley and came back with a glass and a bottle of Laurent-Perrier Grand Siècle on a tray, showed me the bottle and poured at my seat.

Shortly after, Michael returned with amenity kit, menu and pajamas, which were all brought out on his silver tray.

Most airlines package their pajamas in a pouch so that you can put your pjs back and take home with you. British Airways pajamas were tied up with a white ribbon, as if it was in fact a La Perla night gown rather than your airline pjs. No complaints from me I guess.

The menu was a hardcover pamphlet with matte finish, but the wine list wasn’t separate. I was a bit let down by the fact it wasn’t in a leather binder. The menu and wine list read as follows:

Inflight:

We departed on-time, and Michael was back after the seatbelt sign was turned off. He took my meal orders promptly. We talked a bit more, and he told me that the JNB flights were operated by BA’s mixed fleet crews. I only found out after asking him if he had been to Washington D.C., where I live, and he told me the DC flights were operated by worldwide crews. Unlike what you had normally heard about mixed fleet crew members, Michael was experienced and did his job with poise and ease.

Dinner service was quick to start. I asked for a Kir Royale and was offered some mixed nuts as well. British Airways served warm candied nuts, which I think is the highest form of existence for nuts. I devoured the first plate of nuts in no time and Michael, not only did he come back with a refill, but did so in a much larger plate. I’ll let the napkin serve as contrast to do its justice:

There wasn’t a picture of the hot towel because the towel was not served on a tray. The dinner courses also weren’t placed on chargers but rather on the table directly. I guess I was still on British Airways after all.

All dinnerware was set meticulously by Michael. I tried out both the Bordeaux and the Malbec, with the latter being the winner. For amuse-bouche, it was smoked salmon with glazed butternut and wasabi cream.

For my entrée, I opted for the poached crayfish with bok choy and shiitake mushroom salad, dressed with a coriander and mango chili coulis. Let me just say that I generally have lower expectations for outstation catering, but everything out of Johannesburg was honestly sensational. The crayfish was more of the size of a lobster tail. Both the taste and presentation were perfect.

Coming up was the watercress and turmeric soup with sesame and linseed crostini. Even though BA didn’t offer dine-on-demand, Michael was gracious enough to personalize my dinner experience. He also told me if I wanted anything from the dinner menu for breakfast he would save it for me.

The soup was good, though paled in comparison to the other dishes. For my main course, I chose the prosciutto wrapped salmon with crayfish mousse, asparagus and Chardonnay risotto with basil oil. It sure had seemed like crayfish was the theme of the flight, but as someone who can easily spend over $100 on seafood boil, I was living for it.

This dish was FANTASTIC. The prosciutto was perfectly golden and crispy, while the salmon inside was nice and tender. The risotto complemented the dish with fluffy creaminess. The entire dish was a gastronomical bomb filled with rich umami and complex textures. As if my calorie watch hadn’t exploded, Michael tempted me with the cranberry and chocolate bread and butter pudding with mixed berry compôte. I swear he stood at my seat and asked me three times “but are you sure (you wanna skip dessert)?”.

I AM DECEASED. All in all, I was super delighted by this meal - not only was there plenty of interesting options, everything I had was top notch. The menu felt like somebody had put serious thought into it, rather than your standard LSG Sky Chefs beef potato mash. Michael was pleased as all of his first class piggies were fattened up and offered to make my bed whenever I was ready. I took a walk around the plane while the bed was being made and snapped a few pics of the grand staircase on the A380, as well as the spacious business class bathroom on the upper deck.

Upon returning to my seat, it was reclined into the lie-flat position. A thin layer of mattress topper was placed on the seat. While thin, it still made for a comfortable sleeping surface as the seat itself was quite soft. A proper pillow and duvet, while unsure of the thread count, were probably woven with certain percentage of silk as they stayed cool throughout the night. A bottle of bedside water and facial mist, I was ready to hit the hay…Zzzz

Fast forward to rise and shine. I passed out until the cabin lights were turned on for breakfast. Still rubbing the prosciutto in my belly from like, literally 5 hours ago, Michael quickly started my day with some fresh fruits and a glass of chilled orange juice. Table was once again set with great precision.

Along with fruits, there was also a yogurt with toasted granola and strawberry compôte. For the main course, I skipped the heavy English breakfast or the cheesy omelette and instead chose the banana pancakes with fresh mixed berries, chocolate sauce and mascarpone cheese.

This dish was yet another delight.

Soon enough the captain informed us that we’d be starting our initial descent. Our approach that day into Heathrow’s T5 made for a great view of London town, including the O2 Arena on the starboard.

On Arrival:

This was an exceptionally good flight, which largely thanks to the first class attendant Michael. He was extremely passionate about his job and was such a fun person to interact with. During descent, he proactively offered to leave my TV out until cabin crew had to be seated for landing, just so I could finish watching the Green Book. While minor, it was a perfect example of his approach to service. Catering from Johannesburg deserves high marks as well. The lounge situation in JNB was mediocre, but that’s just the norm with BA lounges, and one should have the appropriate expectations. BA has since updated its soft products after this flight so I look forward to trying them again soon. Overall, BA’s first class is worth sacrificing your life for if it means avoiding its business class, which I’ve reviewed here.