SLS South Beach Miami

March 2nd, 2023

Enroute:

Earlier this year before I permanently relocated to Miami, I spent a weekend on South Beach. I’d been intrigued by SLS for a while, as I was browsing the condos in the SLS Lux building in Brickell. The rate for our stay was surprisingly cheap, given it was still winter in the Northeast. I booked through my travel advisor, so we were able to receive a $100 credit and complimentary breakfast.

Check-in:

We had just come down from Palm Beach shortly after noon and were told our room wasn’t ready. It wasn’t a big deal as we wanted to hang out by the pool anyway.

The lobby of the hotel was… eccentric? I’m pretty lost on the columns with different languages written all over. Is this supposed to mimic an archeology site where ancient civilization was unearthed?

Unpack:

We were upgraded to a premier ocean view king room, which was the highest room category before suites. The room was definitely compact, probably the smallest room I’ve ever stayed in on South Beach. Upon entry, there was an extremely narrow hallway leading into the room. I don’t know how people with checked bags got their suitcases into the rooms here.

To the right of the hallway was a bathroom the size of a pantry. Toiletries were from Malin + Goetz, which I did not much care for.

For a two-night weekend getaway, I figured I’d live. If you are here for longer duration, I’d recommend seeking larger accommodations.

The bedroom was equally petite. I wish they hadn’t put that stupid daybed blocking the ocean view.

Other than the size issue, I think the room itself was adequate. It featured many amenities common at a luxury property, such as a proper espresso machine, fully stocked minibar, high thread count linen, slippers and bathrobes.

Rewind:

The pool deck at SLS was quite nice. It’s worth noting that there were technically two pools at SLS - the hotel pool and the pool at Hyde Beach Club. Guests at the hotel received access to the beach club, but there was otherwise a bouncer restricting entry. For some reason the beach club seemed to be a popular venue, as there were flocks and flocks of people trying to get in all the time. Fortunately the resort pool remained rather empty during our stay. We never went to the beach club, but the manager who ran it did come out once to chat with us and invited us to go.

I liked this pool a lot - service was attentive, and there were towels already tucked in on all of the pool chairs. One side of the pool extended under the adjacent building so it was always shaded, a great refuge in between tanning. The beach club music did carry over to the pool at a volume offensive to many. So mentally prepare for this prior to coming.

Refuel:

For a smaller boutique hotel, SLS had two pretty well-known restaurants - the Bazaar by Jose Andres and Katsuya. Ok am I the only one who finds Jose Andres remarkably obnoxious? As a DC resident of many years, I consider his restaurants to be incredibly overrated. You can’t pay me to go to Jaleo. But whenever there’s a humanitarian crisis you can bet he would be the first one to capitalize on it. The Oscar and the Nobel Peace Prize for this guy please. Like stop donating your talentless food to the people who have already been through so much.

Well here’s a picture of the Bazaar which was basically the seating for the lobby during the day.

We drank and snacked by the pool a few times during our stay. The menu reads as follows:

At first I ordered a mango mojito. It was $19 and served in a tiny plastic cup.

I figured why would I pay $19 for this trash when I can get a pitcher for $75, so that’s exactly what I did.

I know there are people who’ve been drinking cognac with mixers for ages, though it was an alien concept to me. My gosh, I’d been missing out this whole time. The cognac lemonade was exquisite. Sure it was danger in sweet disguise and might make you want to “kill your ex, his new girlfriend’s next”, but it’s probably (but probably not) worth the jail time.

So the next day we got another pitcher, lol.

We ordered some chicken nuggets, which, as far as reheated frozen food goes, wasn’t half bad.

Breakfast was served in Bar Central, the hotel’s all-day restaurant. We sat outside on both mornings, as the February weather in Miami couldn’t have been grander.

Breakfast came in the form of a credit, so you could order whatever on the menu, which you can find here.

Over the course of the weekend we had golden brioche french toast with dipped custard, pancakes, avocado toast, patatas bravas and this amazing Latin dish (I forgot the name) with rice, tomato sauce, bacon, fried eggs, plantain and pork belly. YUM!

We stopped by Katsuya for some cocktails and snacks one evening. I’m not saying this restaurant wasn’t nice enough, but I feel like if I was getting dressed and ubering to a restaurant like this, I’d be slightly disappointed, if that makes sense…

The happy hour menu reads as follows:

The drinks and food we received were great, and service was fantastic. I’ve increasingly felt like most restaurants in Miami have the basic respect for customers by serving decent food and providing well-intentioned service. I can’t count how often in NYC I was offended by how terrible the food of a restaurant was.

Depart:

I had a pleasant stay at the SLS. Every aspect was seemingly satisfactory, but I don’t think it impressed me that much as a whole. I’ll file it under the “if it’s a bargain I’ll probably return” category.