JW Marriott Guanacaste Resort & Spa

April 26th, 2022

Enroute:

It had been a miserable couple of months at work for me (where’s that 9-5 life Dolly was singing about???), so the first chance work subsided slightly, I told my partner that I’m getting the fuck out of New York. Partner in life, not partner from work. Imagine telling your boomer partner who’s in the office everyday that you wanna “work from home” from a beach somewhere, lol.

I searched around on Google flights, and flights to Liberia, Costa Rica were surprisingly cheap, for about $300 per person round-trip. I say surprisingly cheap because my partner went there once for a bachelor party, and I recalled the flights being more like $700. To sweeten the deal even more, the flights on jetBlue were nonstop, and more than half of the plane was empty. Since jetBlue and American launched their Northeast Alliance, my AA status could score us jetBlue’s extra legroom seats for free.

I haven’t flown with jetBlue much in the past, but boy was it a great experience. I think I might even prefer jetBlue’s extra legroom economy over AA’s first class. Ok that’s a lie, though I was seriously impressed by jetBlue. Admittedly, having a whole row to yourself is the exception rather than the norm nowadays, but the cabin felt fresh, the service was friendly, and the free wifi even had coverage over the Gulf of Mexico.

While the flight was almost 5 hours, it felt much quicker than that. The Costa Rican coastline kind of reminded me of that of Hawaii. At around 12:40pm local time, we touched down at Liberia Daniel Oduber Quirós International Airport (LIR). Immigration and customs were fast, as we were the only flight inbound. By 1pm we were on the shuttle to our rental car center. Having a car is essential if you want to venture out of your resort compound.

Another thing about Liberia is that it’s actually nowhere near most resorts. Depending on where you stay, you’re looking at at least another hour of commute. In our case, it was more like 90mins. With the car key in hand, we were ready to start our work week😉.

The road condition was good, for the most part, other than the unpaved section where it connects the county road to the resort access road, which lasted about 5mins. I love how Americans worry about driving on foreign roads, like, umm, Lincoln tunnel ramp? New Jersey Turnpike? George Washington Parkway? I95 between Fort Lauderdale and Miami? Shall I continue? If you made it in your Nissan Altima at home I’m sure you’ll be fine in a rental Nissan Altima in Costa Rica. I’m kidding, I don’t know what a Nissan Altima is.

Oh my bad, I haven’t said where we were staying. We decided on the JW Marriott Guanacaste. While my first instinct was to stay at the W or the Andaz, JW was having a cheap rate on points redemption, so I spent ~140,000 Bonvoy points for our 5-night stay. Note that you normally get the 5th night for free when you redeem Marriott points. Comparatively, the W was charging 260,000 points for the same period. I knew that I had to work some during the week, so it didn’t matter as much as to where we stayed, so long as there’s a nice pool, to which the JW claims to have the biggest in Central America. Quite frankly I think I’ve outgrown the W brand at this point. The décor feels kitschy, and if I wanted to go to a full moon party every night and listen to jungle house at a pool I would’ve just gone to Tulum 🤷‍♂️. Just saying.

Anyways, the resort is actually in a bigger development called Hacienda Pinilla, so to get to the resort you first had to enter the gate of Hacienda Pinilla.

This was giving me intense Casa de Campo vibe. The security guard called the hotel to confirm our reservation, and we were permitted to drive through. It was another 10 minutes from the gate to the hotel.

Check-in:

When we pulled up to the lobby entrance, nobody was there. No bellmen or anything. Ok weird. The reception was located inside a room within the lobby, given the lobby was open-air. As soon as I walked in, I realized where everybody was. All the bellmen were standing inside the air-conditioned reception and just hanging out. Not that I needed help with my carry-on, but not exactly a great look…

The staff at the front desk, umm, I’d describe them as not actively trying to be unhelpful? USPS clerks have more passion about their profession than these front desk agents do.

So far the impression wasn’t magnificent, to put it mildly. We asked about a couple small things like Covid test and shuttles to Tamarindo, but the front desk delegated us to the concierge and then the onsite tour office. We really only needed like a high level briefing, but at this point it just wasn’t worth it, and we figured we’d just call later on. Any minute I spent not by the pool with a drink in hand would be a disservice to my mental health.

Therefore rather than dealing with more hurdles (incompetence), we just got the key and headed to our room, which was much better. The pictures on the Marriott App didn’t look particularly appealing, but I’ve traveled enough to tell the style of the hotel wasn’t photogenic. The hotel is actually extremely charming, with liberal usage of dark wood and Saltillo tiles. The combo doesn’t photograph well as it darkens the environment and appears dated, but it’s so beautiful in real life and appropriate for the sense of place. If you’re having the same doubts by looking at the pictures, trust me the rooms are actually very nice.

Unpack:

Most of the hotel rooms were in pairs, so that a bigger family can adjoin two rooms. We were assigned a pool view room, which was a one-level upgrade from a garden view room.

Upon entry, there was a small foyer with a console table and a mirror.

To the right of the foyer was the bathroom, with separate tub and shower.

The hardware could be phased out. The toiletries were from Aromatherapy Associates, which is the standard at JW properties. Generally I like them, particularly the blend of lavender and ylang ylang, except for the body lotion which was impossible to rub in.

Outside the bathroom was a small-ish closet.

Next to the closet were the TV, coffee maker and minibar, which was stocked.

Opposite from the TV wall was the king bed, which was reasonably comfortable.

By the nightstand was a lounger.

The room featured a balcony overlooking the pool, which was a nice place to sit before the day got too hot. The entire balcony could also be screened in. The optionality was nice, though I didn’t find the mosquitos in Costa Rica to be all that vicious. I’m speaking as someone who usually gets chewed up by mosquitos, guess I’m just delectable like that.

Overall I liked the room. Compared to many of the beach resorts these days that go for a contemporary style but end up looking like a Hyatt Place, like the Ritz-Carlton Turks and Caicos, the JW Guanacaste had personality. This obviously will make me sound like a Darien yoga mom but as I get older, I appreciate the connections to the places I’m in, whether in the forms of décor, cuisine, or natural surroundings.

Unwind:

After changing into swimsuits at speed breaking a Guinness World Record, we were eager to explore more of the resort. I was having this random thought recently that the happiest moment on a vacation is that afternoon after you arrived. You’ve made it through the anticipation and still have the whole trip in front of you. Idk where this sentimentality is coming from so maybe stay on your antidepressants lol.

Anyways as I mentioned earlier, the JW claims to bolster the biggest pool in Central America. While I’m not sure how much weight that holds, literally and figuratively, I was dying to check it out.

Before we dive into it, (I’m literally out here with my puns today) I want to share an aerial shot of the resort so you could have an idea of the layout.

The pool is expansive, and there are many different enclaves along the perimeter with pool chairs. The occupancy during our stay was really low, so the first three days the back half of the pool was completely deserted. The pool is so big that you don’t even hear people playing music on their own speakers.

The pool was beautifully lit at night. In addition to the pool, there’s also a hot tub on each side of the pool.

While I’ve been on many tropical vacations, the sun in Costa Rica had the least mercy. Normally I only need to reapply once or twice throughout the day, but here I was reapplying every single time I got out of the water. I loved it though. Everyday was a glorious 95°F and a UV index of 10+. Ah, the D we all needed.

The pool was also quite possibly the warmest unheated pool I’ve ever been in. Have you ever stepped into a body of water whose temperature is the same as air temperature? It’s transcendentally aphrodisiacal. And I’m just gonna leave it at that.

Since we were on the Pacific side of the country, we were perfectly positioned to watch sunsets right on the beach. The hotel set up some bean bag sofas for your viewing pleasure.

Now repeat after me: You👏Don’t👏Come👏To👏The👏Pacific👏Coast👏For👏The👏Ocean👏. Is the ocean pretty to look at? Yes. Will I ever swim in it? No.

Shockingly, I was disciplined enough to have stuck to my workout routine on this trip. The gym and the spa were in the courtyard next to the lobby, and it was just me and one other person on both visits. The gym itself was decent - some of the weights were missing, but for the most part not a big deal. I didn’t get a massage, but you can see the menu here:

The courtyards at the hotel all had cute hammocks. In the evenings, there were local vendors selling arts and crafts, which was cute too.

The hotel itself doesn’t have a golf course, but Hacienda Pinilla has an 18-hole. We played there once. There are two holes with ocean views, the rest were rather mundane. We did hear and spot some howler monkeys at the 13th tee, which was cool. All the greens needed trimming.

Refuel:

Y’all know I’m a big foodie, subject but not limit to:

Before the trip I asked my partner if Costa Rica’s food situation was more like that of Mexico or of the Caribbeans. He said closer to Mexico but nowhere near as amazing. So I came in with relatively modest expectations but was pleasantly surprised.

One quirk was that we were told by front desk we needed to make a reservation for every single restaurant onsite, which didn’t seem necessary as the hotel was maybe 25% full.

On our first day we had dinner at Azul Grille, which is the hotel’s only seaside dining venue. The place served regular beach lunch fare during the day but switched to an Italian menu for dinner. You can find both menus here:

The all-day menu was also what you could order by the pool. The restaurant itself was pretty, taking advantage of its location on the beach. It even had its own smaller infinity pool.

Before we ordered we were brought some focaccia, which was warm but stale.

To eat, we didn’t want to have Italian food in Costa Rica, so we asked the waiter Kevin (who was very friendly) if we could order from the regular menu. He checked with the kitchen and gladly obliged. So for appetizer, we shared the tropical ceviche.

This was exactly what we had in mind, crisp, fresh, acidic and light. I love meatballs as much as the next guy (probably more so than some guys for obvious reasons😈), but just not on the first night at a beach resort.

Next for main courses we had grilled sea bass and the seafood linguine. Both were good. The sea bass was a bit chewy but still decent. I suspect it’s a different kind of sea bass or some local fish that resembled sea bass but too complicated to explain to gringos.

At this point we were stuffed, so we passed on dessert.

Breakfast was served at Mansita restaurant, which I believe also served lunch and dinner. You can find the menu here:

We never actually ate here, because the JW Guanacaste set up a separate breakfast for Marriott elite members at the steakhouse restaurant Sabanero. This was an extremely nice touch from the hotel. The setting was much more intimate and was never crowded, which isn’t usually the case at a rather sizable beach resort where everybody rushes to the breakfast buffet.

The service here was the best on property. Our waitress every morning Adelina (I think I spelled it right?) was attentive and always had a big smile.

First there was a small buffet with your standard continental breakfast selection. The fruits here were outstanding. The mangoes and papayas were 10/10.

To supplement the buffet, there was a menu that you could order from:

Over the course of our stay we tried pretty much everything on the menu. You could order as much as you want. I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.

Of all the a la carte items, I LOVED the tico breakfast, which was a traditional Costa Rican breakfast with rice and beans, grilled cheese and fried eggs, and the mediterranean breakfast with grated tomatoes, serrano ham and manchego cheese. SO YUM. Everything was carefully prepared. I asked for some hot sauce for my tico breakfast and was expecting some Tabasco, but nope, they brought me this freshly made habanero hot sauce that was🔥.

So yeah, breakfast was definitely one of the highlights of this stay. As if just the food wasn’t enough, on the weekends there were free-flowing mimosas, which we may or may not have partaken.

We didn’t drink as much on this trip given it was still the middle of the work week, but we did manage to sample a few cocktails for research purposes only😉.

The drinks were very weak, but the drinks we had off property were pretty weak too. We shared some nachos and sea bass ceviche one day. The nachos were meh but the ceviche was divine.

We had dinner one night at Tamarind, which was the hotel’s Asian fusion restaurant. You can find the menu here:

We weren’t very hungry, so we shared a few light dishes, including tuna tataki salad, grilled octopus and Thai yellow curry. This was the most underwhelming meal we had in Costa Rica. I’m not sure what I was thinking when I decided to go have Thai food, so this one was kind of on me. Everything tasted like takeout from a Thai restaurant in a 5th tier American suburb.

My partner worked late one evening, so we ordered a burger and a pizza from Sandbar, the lobby bar, which you could find the menu here:

The meatlover pizza was not the best, but the shrimp burger was phenomenal.

One side note about prices on property. Every price listed includes both taxes and service charge, so I thought the prices were relatively cheap. For example, a pepperoni pizza was $16 all-in, as well as an $18 fish and chips. I overheard an American couple at the pool complaining about how $16 was too much for a pizza, and that where they lived they could go out and have pizzas at a sit-down restaurant for less than that. I couldn’t help but wonder where they lived, because I’m tired of paying $30 for a chicken pad thai in New York City😤.

There was an unbelievable monsoon on our last evening, so we were trapped in our room. We ordered a burger and a couple desserts from Sabanero. You could find its menu here:

The burger was juicy and tender, and I was surprised to see the carrot cake and chocolate fondant were only $5. When I went to pick up the food I saw steaks being grilled on a plancha that looked really good. I heard from this woman we met at the pool that the steaks were good too.

The hotel had a rum bar, which exclusively served drinks and cigars. We didn’t go, but you can see the menu here:

On top of all the F&B outlets, room service was also available. The amount of options was respectable, you can see them here:

Depart:

I enjoyed our 5-night stay at the JW Marriott Guanacaste. Costa Ricans are friendly people, and everyone at the resort was kind and well-intentioned. The only exception was the front office team, which wasn’t helpful and didn’t seem to want to be there.

Although the hotel didn’t provide turndown service, housekeeping was stellar. Our requests were taken care of promptly. When they delivered any housekeeping items, they’d put them in a cute basket. We spilled some ketchup on the bedsheet once, and the sheets were changed the next day without us asking.

Unfortunately this hotel had picked up the dishonest resort fee practice from the US, ~$30/night plus taxes. We asked the front desk at check-in what was included, and she could not come up with one thing that wasn’t just utter bullshit, so we moved on.

Costa Rica waived the entry Covid test in April, but we still needed one to get back to the US. Can we all agree that this requirement is completely nonsensical and ineffective? Personally I’ve checked in for flights coming back home where the agents never asked to see the test results. JW partnered with a local lab that would come to your room for $65, which was probably the cheapest in-room Covid test I’ve ever had.

A special shoutout to this hilarious woman Carol we met at the pool. We had a nice conversation about all things travel and bonded over poking fun at our respective partners and preference for a fatty cut of steak. It’s always an added bonus to meet new people on your vacation, especially those who enjoy one (or too many) cocktail(s).

I’d recommend Costa Rica as a destination too. Granted we didn’t get to see much of what the country has to offer, but I’m acutely aware of the infinite nature and wildlife here. I do intend to return at some point to explore the hot springs, national parks and see some sloths!

Pura Vida.